I’m struggling with the simple act of getting words on a page, and it sucks.
Every time I approach my laptop (or blank sheets of paper) my brain shorts out. I spent two hours staring at the screen last night and wrote exactly one word during that time, which I deleted before calling it a night. Every time I think of writing, I freeze.
We’re nine days into Nanowrimo, and I say “we” but I really mean “everyone else,” because I haven’t written a thing beyond an initial word sprint on the first day. My story just isn’t working for me. I’m definitely not looking for perfection, but this thing’s a hot mess. Even my pre-writing work is all over the place–the ideas are there, more or less, but they’re not put together in a way that makes even the slightest bit of sense. I’m not connecting with my characters. The story feels bland at best and moronic at worst. Writing it feels perfunctory and almost obligatory, in a way, and I am not the sort of person who enjoys feeling made to do anything, so I’ve been digging my heels in and distracting myself, rather than working.
I think I have to go back to the drawing board.
One thing that may be holding me back is the POV. I’m trying to write this in first person, but it doesn’t sound right. So, I’m thinking of taking the core of what I’ve outlined (dudes…my outline/note draft is 15 pages long) and abandoning one MC in favor of a third-person omniscient, mutli-perspective narrative. The best comparison I can make is that it’d be like ‘Salem’s Lot, only with the apocalypse instead of a vampire infestation. My MC, Camryn, would be the Ben Mears in this situation–spearheading most of the plot and acting as the primary hero, but she won’t be the story’s sole focal point. It’s probably going to be harder to write, since my lazy ass tends to default to first, but it might be what the story needs.
I’m about 16,000 words behind schedule (or I will be by tomorrow, anyway). I think I’m going to spend the rest of tonight trying to come up with a new game plan. And I’d better find my wrist splint, ’cause tomorrow’s going to be tough.
Wish me luck, y’all. Let the Great Catch-Up Race begin.